Ok. So I fixed it. I didn't need a custom class at all. In fact, the fix was much simpler than I was making it. These two little lines of code in my code-behind grabbed the webpart I needed to work with no problem:
1 Dim part As WebPart
2 part = WebPartManager1.SelectedWebPart
So.. In case anyone is trying to figure out which webpart is in Edit mode, this is the way. This was one of those "duh" moments. But if it helps anyone else out then I guess its not all in vain.
How did I get here? And what am I doing?