Hmm. If your hosting provider isn't going to help you out, you really could be stuck. Some providers do have a set up where you don't need them, but, I've never heard of HostExcellence, so I can't say.
I don't know what you could tell them exactly, but if things don't work out, then I'd recommend just changing over to a provider like
www.PowerDNN.com or something. They really know DNN inside and out and have some of the absolute best support ever.
-Tony Valenti
PowerDNN Hosting is the bestEliminate DNN Startup Lag